{ StevenHaddox.com }

‘Twas Two nights before Christmas and all through the house,
not a Paisley was crying, or fussing about.
A calm had settled throughout the household,
as all lay sleeping this story to be told.

The presents now wrapped, labeled, and bowed,
we all waited anxiously to hear, “Ho Ho Ho!”
Our labor not done, much packing left to do,
for you see our tiny family had to go see you-know-who.

Christmas has come a day early you see.
For we would be driving all night Christmas-Eve!
The laundry all washed, dried, and folded.
Dishes put away, and Chloe un-scolded.

But there was much left to do,
the packing still to begin.
Three Christmas’ there be,
twenty-four hours within.

But now that we’re settled
and know Santa is coming,
’tis time to be snuggled
and rested for the running.

Let us remember the reason we hustle,
each Christmas we celebrate the soft little nuzzle
of our savior Jesus, the Christ our Lord.
And thank him again by showing the selflessness
that always lies within.

So sleep well all my friends,
and always remember:
to give thanks to Him
on the twenty-fifth day of December!

So I was talking with Katie, and I realized that in the LDS religion there are many times when a person does something wrong that involves another member, the other member’s leaders are informed about the situation. This allows the other member’s leaders to approach them and try to help the other person start the repentance process. This is a great idea in theory and one that I’ve often appreciated as it has effected me personally from time to time (as the other member).

However, it dawned on me, that during the excommunication process this general concept was not applied to my former wife. You see, we had premarital sex before we were sealed in the temple. Yes, a horrible atrocious action that should not have occurred (I completely agree and am definitely responsible for the actions I took). However, when I revealed this during my excommunication council (hearing, whatever you’d like to call it) they basically said that they had to take my word for it and they would not be contacting her new leaders to let them know. As a result they said it was up to her to determine whether or not she should contact her leaders and repent. I find this slightly frustrating. I may have “wronged” her in the church’s opinion by leaving her for someone I truly love; however, whether she was “wronged” or not she should not be exempt from the same rules as everyone else. She was involved in a major sin (one of the top three according to most people) and still went to the temple unworthily - the same as ME. For her leaders to not be informed and for her to not have to go through the required steps of repentance just because she “feels” that she’s repented inside is not adequate. We all know, deep inside, that if you believe in the church certain sins require leadership involvement. And even those who may not believe in the church could still understand how it is “fake” to not go through the church’s appropriate methods of repentance in this situation. I personally cannot explain the frustration and agitation I experience when I think of her attending church each week, partaking of the sacrament, and pretending to be a perfect Mormon. I did that for four years unworthily and it tore me apart inside.

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